All I see is Laundry

There should be a support group for

little girls who change their clothes 20 times a day.

Lorelle needs to join.

Oh, and someone needs to tell her that her skirt is actually

a shirt. Gotta give her credit for being creative.

And just so you all know, the first 6 pictures were taken all

before 10:30 am until she finally decided she was happy with what she chose

or I told her she couldn't change out of it, either one.

You gotta admit though, she is pretty cute.

I don't know

I've been thinking about blogging for a little while now but I never really feel like doing it. I have so many things to say but at the same time, I don't want to say them.

The few things I do want to say are this:

I am grateful for my family.

Despite all our quarks, they really are the best.

I love every single one of them and we have always been close but now,

we are even closer then we ever have been before.

I am grateful for sisters. They truly are my best friends and

now we depend on each other more than we ever have. It has taken

on a whole new meaning.

I love my dad. With all my heart.

I know everyone says this but I really, truly have the greatest

parents ever. They loved and adored each other and although I pretended

like it grossed me out, I really didn't mind all that much.

My dad is amazing.

Most of all, I'm so grateful for this guy.

Thank you for holding me while I cry, for letting me talk, for taking care of the kids and other things that needed to be done when I wasn't able, for being there for me, for being my support and for being my husband. I love you more than anything.

This has defiantly been the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life, so far.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ has never been so real to me as it is now. I'm thankful to the Lord every day for His sacrifice. Even though it doesn't take away the pain, there is a comfort in the knowledge of life after this.

Thank you mom for everything you taught me and for truly being the best.

I miss you every day. I can still hear your laugh, your voice, your "hello" every time you answered my phone calls and the advice you gave me. I will miss the recipes and the emails you sent me almost everyday. You were my confidant, my friend, my mom.

I will love you forever.

Best Buds

These two boys are the best of friends.

Jared always talks about 2 things: batman and his best friend-cousin Blake.

They play so good together and never once have I heard them fight, ever.

They are completely inseparable and its sad to watch them have to leave each other.

I love watching my son have such a great friend.

Blake, Jared says hi!!

A Milestone

Today my little boy has become a little man.

He lost his first tooth.

He is more than excited about it and

how rich he's gonna be when the tooth fairy comes.

(I don't know what he has said to her but I'm pretty sure he's not getting as much as he thinks he is)

So here is to many more loose teeth hanging by a thread and moving

around your mouth in an unnatural fashion as I try to convince you to let me

pull it with no success and then have it magically fall out at school one day.

One down.........19 more to go.

What else but School??

A few things about this photo:

1. Jared is an awkward picture taker

2. The shadows are making Mady's ponytail look huge.

3. You can see the really ugly color of my front entry in the background

(why have I not painted it yet??)

4. The bag lady to the right looks like she's pooping out a bag.

and

5. I hate to break it to ya but even with their awkward smiles and gigantic ponytails, my kids are cuter than all of yours.

Thoughts

So I was looking through pictures and I came across some old ones of Lorelle.

Now, I know that I blog about her a lot.

Children change your life, there is no doubt about that.

When you are young, you always think about when you will get married, have kids and always in your mind they are perfect.

You never think about the "what if's"

I remember the moment the doctor came over to me after she was born like it was yesterday.

I remember the way he walked towards me, his face and his words.

I will never forget it.

I remember how I felt, my thoughts and the most vivid was the sinking in my heart.

I held her. I cried. James cried.

And we loved her.

It was probably the most bittersweet moment in my life.

Here was this brand new baby, laying in my arms, perfect, straight from God.

But not "perfect"

We were told the cysts would go away on their own so I didn't really concern myself with it.

When I look back now, I realized how much I convinced myself I was ok about the whole thing.

I thought I was fine and it was no big deal but looking back, I was a mess.

James tells me that that was the one time in our marriage where he felt like he didn't know who I was. I was angry, I was sad, I was frustrated, I felt alone.

After 4 months, they were still there. I knew then that she needed me. My other kids needed me. My husband needed me so I decided it was time to do something about them. I went to the doctor to discuss why they weren't going away.

He decided to send her for an MRI so that they could get a better look at it and see where the fluid was coming from.

I don't remember where James was or why he wasn't able to make it but I had my dad come cuz I couldn't go alone. I was still a mess even though I pretended I wasn't.

Just as she went in and I came back from laying her on the table, the MRI tech intern walked in to sit in on the MRI and it turned out to be my best friend from elementary to high school.

Talk about tender mercies. She sat outside and talked with me the whole time. Just what I needed.

Anyway, after finding out what she had and going to the useless specialist in Lethbridge, I knew the Children's Hospital was where we needed to go.

What an amazing place.

They did so much for her and cared for her like she was their only patient.

If only we had adult hospitals like that.

It's amazing she went from this....

(4 months)

to this

(2 years)

to this....

To now this.

What a beautiful, special little girl.

It's been an emotional couple years.

Even though it was and is really hard, the things I learned and will learn are totally worth it.

She's a special spirit, I've been saying it from the beginning.

I think it takes a special spirit to inhabit these earthly bodies that are not "perfect"

and go through the trials that come with it.

I'm grateful that she is healthy. That she is happy.

Now that her cheek is gone, it's amazing to me to look back and see her before. I never noticed it, she was who she was. But now that it is gone.....it was big.

The first picture barely looks like her.

As of right now she is doing awesome.

She was truly blessed and given many miracles in the last 2 1/2 years, especially when she had surgery.

I don't know what the future holds for her and her cheek.

I now have an understanding. A sort of bond to other mothers who go through similar, some harder, trials with their children.

Not that I will totally understand what others moms feel since our trials are different but I feel that my experience was to help me be prepared to help and understand others.

Even though she cries......A LOT,

I really just love her

My Eyes, My Eyes!!

So this is the color I painted the front entry.

It actually doesn't look that bad in the bottom pictures.

The top picture is the closest to what it looks like but not totally.

It's way more horrid in real life.

It's like someone's really bad spray on tan.

I was gonna give myself a week or so to see if I started to like it.

It's been 2 days and I want to rip my eyes out every time I walk in there.

It's not staying.

It used to be the same color as the hallway if you look through the doorway

in the pic below.

It was a light beige with a pink undertone.

Not much better but I way rather have pink than orange skin.

When the sun sets, it shines right into the front entry and the color is even worse.

I waited to get a picture but of course it is cloudy and raining so too bad.

I need to paint it before I gouge out my eyeballs.

And yes that is Amy eating breakfast on the floor.